Monday, March 16, 2009

True Colors

I think I've mentioned this at one point or another on here, but I'm not very good with colors. Another way to put it is unless something is super bright, I probably have no clue what color it is. Another was to say it is red/green colorblindness, but that's a pretty dumb name. First, it makes it seem like it's just red and green (it isn't) and the 'blindness' part makes it seem like a big deal, and it really isn't. So that's why I just like to say I'm not really good with colors. Like it's calculus or driving or something. 

Not being good with colors is a big deal when you're a kid. For some reason, there's a great deal of emphasis on the color spectrum in school from ages 5-10. I really don't understand this. Everyone says that we're falling behind the rest of the world in math and science. Nobody says we don't know our colors. I happened to go to one of the few elementary schools that had an art program. My art teacher thought I should be held back due to my inability to distinguish between primary colors. Well, that, and I think I was pretty bad at making clay pots too. 

Once the other kids found out that I can't distinguish between one color and another, the natural response was to point to pretty much everything and say "what color is this?" Now, if I was smart, I would've said something along the lines of 'dumbass, I clearly don't is this a fun game?" but since I was younger and less cynical, I'd just say red or blue or something like that. It was usually wrong.

After elementary school, colors are less important. People think that matching clothes would be the hard part, but that's not really that difficult. During high school I'd just buy what the manikin/catalog model was wearing. Then I just started asking the people in the stores. Most people who work in retail hate their job, but think that they know something about clothes. So I just say, what would you wear with this? That works pretty well. After watching a few years of what not to wear I've found that it really doesn't matter what colors you wear.  Here is my fashion proof, based on this research:

If you're attractive and you wear matching clothes = Classic Style. Elegant, Old Hollywood
If you're attractive and you wear clashing clothes = Fashion Forward or Bold fashion choices
If you're unattractive and you wear matching clothes = not a risk taker
If you're unattractive and wear clashing clothes = fashion disaster or hot mess

Based on this research of E!, Us Weekly, and What Not To Wear, it seems like being attractive can make up for bad color choices, so I'll just focus on that from now on. 

There are some benefits to being bad with colors. Well, really only one that I can think of. Kate is currently painting a couple of rooms. Because I can't tell the difference in any of the color finalists, I get to sit out of the vote. I got to pick out a color once at our old house. I chose Spongebob Blue (from the Nickelodeon Collection) for the 1/2 bath. Based on this decision, I'm no longer included in paint color decisions. Kate does keep saying "what do you think" with each wall/coat of paint. I've just been saying that it looks great. I'm not sure what the hell color it is, but it looks great.


Al Iverson said...

Have you ever tried being more attractive?

Nate said...

Al - I'm actually doing that right now. I gave up looking like a freakshow for lent. We'll see if I can stick with it for 40 days. Taking it one day at a time. The only way to know if I'm successful will be in the Easter edition of US Weekly. We'll see what they say about me.

Baba Pat said...

Oh, you struggled with CandyLand & your Dad and I worried about you. Then, your first car was sooooo yellow that the Shell sign looked dull by comparison.

The Caring Chromosome Carriers

Kelsey said...

what colour is cerulean?

Nate said...

Well Kelsey, I asked this guy I know (Wikipedia), and apparently Cerulean may be applied to a range of colors from deep blue, sky-blue, bright blue or azure color through greenish blue colors.

So yeah, what he said...