On my flight last night/this morning, the guy next to me was watching The Bucket List on his laptop. There are a couple things about this that were upsetting to me. First, nobody should watch a movie on a redeye. Not cool. Second, if you are going to watch a movie, pick one that I want to watch over your shoulder. While watching Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson skydiving and falling in and out of sleep, I started coming up with my own list. I'm not going to call it a bucket list because a) that's sort of a morbid thought and b) nothing on my list involves Morgan Freeman. So instead this is just an incomplete list of not very impressive stuff that I want to do.
Watch every best picture winning movie. I've got a pretty good start on this one. I'm already back to Out of Africa (1986). I've gotta go all the way back to 1929, so there's still plenty of work to do on this one. Also, since they'll probably continue to give an academy award for Best Picture every year, I have to go in both directions. I think I'm up to it.
Make it through life without ever eating a beet. I'm pretty sure I've made it 28 years without eating a beet, so I think the hardest part of this one is over. I had a bit of an advantage because my parents don't like beets, so I never really confronted them during the time in life where other people can tell you what to eat. The only time when this might be an issue is if I'm at someone else's house and beets are somehow incorporated into the main course. I think if I'm confronted with this dilemma, I'll either explain this life goal or say that I'm allergic to beets. I don't think it would be a complete lie. Not that eating them makes me physically ill, but just thinking about them sitting there sweating in the salad bar bowl makes me throw up a little in my mouth, so I think that's some kind of mental allergy, right?
Have Willard Scott announce our 50th Wedding Anniversary on The Today Show. This one is going to be difficult. First, Willard usually only announces 75th anniversaries (or 100th birthdays). Second, Willard is already 74 years old. This means he would be 119 on our 50th wedding anniversary. Now I know that we're making some great advances in modern medicine, but something tells me that Willard isn't going to make it another 45 years. I love Willard. His 3 minutes on The Today Show is probably the second best segment on the show. It involves Smuckers Jam, pictures of really old people, and inappropriate comments. It's hard to beat that. I'd even set him up by giving him a personal description that's perfect for a Willard inappropriate joke. Oh, and if you're wondering what the best segment is on The Today Show, it's from 10:00 - 10:02 when Hoda and Kathie Lee have to apologize for something that Kathie Lee said the day before that offended some group of people. It happens every day and I love it.
Give someone a nickname that becomes their actual name when they move into a nursing home. I should probably explain this one. First, I like giving people nicknames. Sometimes they stick. And by stick, I mean that someone other than me starts to use the nickname. I think I can do better. I want one of my nicknames to become the name that someone puts on the door of their nursing home room. Pretty much everyone over the age of 80 goes by some sort of nickname. I think there are several reasons why. For guys, I think it's because most of them were in the military and they all had nicknames. For women, all names given before 1940 are pretty ridiculous. Also, I think people just get tired of their names, and just like everything else, they just figure 'screw it, I'm old, I can call myself whatever I want.' So hopefully one of my nicknames makes it to the nursing home.
So there's my list so far. Sure there are plenty of other things that I want to do at some point, but one of the most common criticisms of this blog is that the posts are too long, so we'll cut it off there. If you'd like to share some of yours, you can do so as comments.