The House Effect

I just watched House on Fox. I love that show. Kate's not a very big fan. She likes it, but doesn't like it when the patient coughs up blood or has blood come out of somewhere else where blood isn't supposed to come out. And that happens on pretty much every episode. I can say that with complete confidence, because I have watched every episode. USA likes to have House Marathons for 24 hours at a time, and I'm usually good for about 16 of those hours. I find it ironic that they call it a marathon, since it leads to me having a sedentary lifestyle on House Marathon days. I doubt this is what the Greeks had in mind.

Anyway, all of my House watching usually leads me to think that I have some kind of strange, undiagnosable disease. Probably something flesh-eating. This always happens. Every time I watch this show, I end up thinking something like "when was the last time I went to the doctor" or "maybe I should get that checked out." So this is The House Effect - watching or reading or doing something enough that it begins to alter your thoughts or behavior. Here are a few other situations where this seems to happen for me:

Country Music - I usually only listen to country in the summertime. But since I haven't landed on a single good radio station in Charlotte, I've been listening to country in January. Anyway, whenever I listen to country for more than a half hour, I usually end up thinking something like "I should write country songs - that would be a pretty easy job" or "I should probably go to church." The church thing might not be so obvious, but 78% of country songs say something like 'get on my knees and pray' or 'church on Sunday' or 'faith in heaven above.' 

Tyler Perry Movie Previews - I say previews, because I haven't actually seen any of the movies. But when I see the previews, I always have the urge to dress up like an old African American woman. Either that, or it makes me want to add Big Momma's House to my Netflix queue. Did y'all realize that they made a Big Momma's House 2? Were there really a lot of unresolved plot lines leftover after the original Big Momma's House?

Working in a Nursing Home - So this one is Kate's contribution. She says that working in a nursing home makes her think that everyone (myself included) has MRSA or dementia. It also seems to give people (my wife) some kind of special medical training where she thinks she can diagnose things or out-doctor the doctors on Discovery Health. That last one was my contribution, and it might seem kind of mean. But keep in mind that Kate called me tonight and said that she started reading one of the Twilight books. So I could've written a whole post on what it's like to be married to a 15 year old girl, but I'm not going to do that. 

Eating at a Chain Casual-Dining Restaurant - Always makes me want to talk to Kate more. Usually when you see couples at (insert Applebees, TGIFridays, whatever) they are pretty much just sitting silently, staring at each other. We don't really do that, but I'm usually analyzing the menu, trying to determine how I can get the most possible food for the least amount of money. Not because I'm super hungry or broke, but because it's the most efficient. But the silent couples around me make me think that I should just start talking.

Watching the News anytime in the past 3 months - Makes me want to start stockpiling food and various other supplies for the end of days. I realize that the economic news is fairly bleak. I get it. The mail that the 401k people send me can tell me that. But the news is over the top. You don't need to bring Jim Cramer on the evening news for me to know how bad the economy sucks. Cramer's appearance doesn't help or hurt the economic news, it really just makes Brian Williams look more handsome. That one was for my mom.

So those are the five or so that I could think of in our limited time together. If you have any other examples of stuff that you watch or listen to or do that alters your thoughts or actions, let me know via comment. 

And please don't use the valuable comment space to defend the Twilight books. You're not gonna change my mind on that. And I won't fight fair. I'll just come back with something like "Go clean your room, Kelsee. And stop texting your BFF."