Monday, January 26, 2009

The House Effect

I just watched House on Fox. I love that show. Kate's not a very big fan. She likes it, but doesn't like it when the patient coughs up blood or has blood come out of somewhere else where blood isn't supposed to come out. And that happens on pretty much every episode. I can say that with complete confidence, because I have watched every episode. USA likes to have House Marathons for 24 hours at a time, and I'm usually good for about 16 of those hours. I find it ironic that they call it a marathon, since it leads to me having a sedentary lifestyle on House Marathon days. I doubt this is what the Greeks had in mind.

Anyway, all of my House watching usually leads me to think that I have some kind of strange, undiagnosable disease. Probably something flesh-eating. This always happens. Every time I watch this show, I end up thinking something like "when was the last time I went to the doctor" or "maybe I should get that checked out." So this is The House Effect - watching or reading or doing something enough that it begins to alter your thoughts or behavior. Here are a few other situations where this seems to happen for me:

Country Music - I usually only listen to country in the summertime. But since I haven't landed on a single good radio station in Charlotte, I've been listening to country in January. Anyway, whenever I listen to country for more than a half hour, I usually end up thinking something like "I should write country songs - that would be a pretty easy job" or "I should probably go to church." The church thing might not be so obvious, but 78% of country songs say something like 'get on my knees and pray' or 'church on Sunday' or 'faith in heaven above.' 

Tyler Perry Movie Previews - I say previews, because I haven't actually seen any of the movies. But when I see the previews, I always have the urge to dress up like an old African American woman. Either that, or it makes me want to add Big Momma's House to my Netflix queue. Did y'all realize that they made a Big Momma's House 2? Were there really a lot of unresolved plot lines leftover after the original Big Momma's House?

Working in a Nursing Home - So this one is Kate's contribution. She says that working in a nursing home makes her think that everyone (myself included) has MRSA or dementia. It also seems to give people (my wife) some kind of special medical training where she thinks she can diagnose things or out-doctor the doctors on Discovery Health. That last one was my contribution, and it might seem kind of mean. But keep in mind that Kate called me tonight and said that she started reading one of the Twilight books. So I could've written a whole post on what it's like to be married to a 15 year old girl, but I'm not going to do that. 

Eating at a Chain Casual-Dining Restaurant - Always makes me want to talk to Kate more. Usually when you see couples at (insert Applebees, TGIFridays, whatever) they are pretty much just sitting silently, staring at each other. We don't really do that, but I'm usually analyzing the menu, trying to determine how I can get the most possible food for the least amount of money. Not because I'm super hungry or broke, but because it's the most efficient. But the silent couples around me make me think that I should just start talking.

Watching the News anytime in the past 3 months - Makes me want to start stockpiling food and various other supplies for the end of days. I realize that the economic news is fairly bleak. I get it. The mail that the 401k people send me can tell me that. But the news is over the top. You don't need to bring Jim Cramer on the evening news for me to know how bad the economy sucks. Cramer's appearance doesn't help or hurt the economic news, it really just makes Brian Williams look more handsome. That one was for my mom.

So those are the five or so that I could think of in our limited time together. If you have any other examples of stuff that you watch or listen to or do that alters your thoughts or actions, let me know via comment. 

And please don't use the valuable comment space to defend the Twilight books. You're not gonna change my mind on that. And I won't fight fair. I'll just come back with something like "Go clean your room, Kelsee. And stop texting your BFF."


Amanda said...

When I watch What Not To Wear, it makes me want to go shopping for cute stylish clothes. But then I am always sad that Clinton and Stacy don't show up and yell at me for poor fashion decisions.

Nate said...

I always walk around wearing untrendy baggy clothes. I consider it my 'before' look, but Clinton and Stacy haven't found me yet.

Kath said...

LOL. Poor Kate!! I think you should blog about how much you love her and show some wedding photos or something ;)

Nate said...

she wouldn't read it anyway. The vampires are starting to make out or something. Clearly I don't know the plot of these books.

Tina O. said...

Here I am a day late and possibly a dollar short, but I am here to say that I am on book 3 of the Twilight series-and they SUCK! I am a 36 year old wife, mother, and business owner, for god sake. I only read the first one because my friend (who is 46 and trapped in a miserable marriage) begged me. See, she is in love with Edward and wants him to come take her away. I know, I know. So I said I would read this stupid book and then see the stupid movie with her, even though she already saw it. I don't want to see the movie, I think they guy who plays Edward looks like a degenerate. Why the tweens swoon, I have no idea. Geez, have some standards. If I put it off long enough, it will leave the theater.
Anyway, I know this is long, but maybe Kate has a valid reason to read these, like me. You should ask. My husband bought me the 3rd book for Christmas. That's why I have to read the whole series. See. Valid reason.

Kate said...

okay...i have to defend myself here regarding twilight. 1) i just need to find out what all the hype is about...seriously-people are obsessed with these books. nate knows that this is NOT the type of book i would usually read. 2) i live in a retirement community and work in a nursing home...come on-i need to feel young...relate to the kids for a change, instead of their grandparents :-)

Nate said...

Tina - Thank you for this. That was the best comment I have ever read. Ever. Please keep reading - and commenting.

Nate said...

Ladies and Gentlemen - Kate's first comment. This is a big day for YIFY.

Kate said...

tina, just thought of a couple more reasons why i feel i have to read twilight-my 24yr old stepsister announced at dinner sunday night that she wants to marry a vampire...hmmmm. and, the receptionist at work gave me a copy of the book to read. every morning she asks me about i'm really feeling the pressure. it's almost like i'd let her down if i don't finish it/like it.

Tina said...

See-valid reason(s). And I know how you feel about letting them down. Peer pressure! My friend read all 4 books twice in 2 weeks. (Wow, now that I think about it, maybe she should get a job or somthing.)
And Nate, you are my new favorite blog! But, be careful what you wish for; I can go on and on and on!