Saturday, January 17, 2009

My Own Little Fantasy

First off, I need to address the obvious - my consecutive days with a blog post streak. It ended yesterday. Sorry about that. But I did have like 21 days in a row with a post, so I think that's pretty good. Besides, yesterday was RJ's day to post. Also, I flew back to Indy yesterday and it was just a little too cold to think. Really, I think it's too cold to do anything here. But I can't use that excuse all weekend, so here's a fantasy football post.

I play fantasy football. I guess you call it 'playing' even though it feels a lot more like work. Fantasy football involves spending lots of time on the computer (something I do at work), doing research and making difficult decisions (things I do at work) and watching television (something I do at work). So yeah, it's sort of like work, except that it only pays off about one out of every three years. 

And the payoff isn't all that great. I mean, when you consider how much time you put in researching players on teams that you really don't care about, your hourly fantasy football rate is well below minimum wage, even if you win your league. I got second place in my league this year and made $60. When you consider that I spent about 3 hours/week watching football, another hour/week setting my lineup, and about 15 minutes per week coming up with a team name, I think I made about $1/hour. Fantasy Football is basically sports gambling for men whose parents wouldn't sign the permission slip for real gambling. It involves all of the analysis and decision making, without the potential for major financial loss or gain. 

My favorite aspect of fantasy football is coming up with a team name. Actually, coming up with several team names. This season I switched my team name every week. It usually had something to do with the current news cycle at the time I set my lineup. Since most of the season took place during the presidential campaign, my team names included Bristol's Baby Daddy, Lipstick on a Pig, and The Sad Grandpas. It'll be like a little time capsule from the 2008 presidential election. There were a few other team names that probably aren't blog-appropriate. Come to think of it, they probably weren't work fantasy football league appropriate either, but it's a little too late for that now. 

If it wasn't for fantasy football, I think I'd underestimate just how physical the sport is. I mean, it seems like halfway into the season, half of my team has some sort of injury. Maybe that's why I play fantasy football instead of regular football - less chance of serious injury.

 I actually did try real football once. I made it through one week of football camp before my freshman year of high school. I only made it five days because I had philosophical differences with the coach. As a 6'3'', 230lb incoming freshman, the coach thought I'd be on the offensive line with the rest of the really large people. But it was August, and all of the linemen had to practice in full pads and do lots of running. I saw the kickers and punters, and they looked like they were having way more fun. They were even practicing right next to the water fountain, which was a huge plus. When I made my case for joining the kicking squad, I think the coach said something like "a boy your size should be doing something a little bit more manly than being a kicker." He was probably right. But I decided to join the golf team instead. 


Every Gym's Nightmare said...

fantasy football is too confusing for me. i dont get it, lol.

Kelly Turner

Amanda said...

According to my friends, I'm not allowed to play anymore, after coming in second and not knowing a thing about football. I also usually forget that I'm in a league, and the 'set it and forget it' seems to work in my favor?

I'm okay with not playing... it's boring since I really don't know anything about football, or sports in general. (I pick march madness brackets according to 3 things: mascot, if I know it, team colors, if I know them, and if I like the way the school's name sounds. This is why I will pick UC Santa Cruz (banana slugs) and Gonzaga (sounds like Gorgonzola) over other, possibly more qualified teams. )

This also means I have a much higher chance of doing well, because that's the way the universe works.